Welcome to Madam Materia's Magical Menagerie. Today we look at the tale of a mother and daughter, always there for one another. Unfortunately they may come to realize that placing the other's wants constantly above your own can have dire consequences.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.86
- BE: 3.29
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 4.43
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great job, a new twist on an old idea! I think you got a little bogged down with the explanations about what the shop DOESNT do. Keep it up, keep writing you have found something to be good at.
Someguy
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Plenty of BE, and plenty of stories here do a worse job of descibing it. Having other themes besides BE eg mental transformations isn't against the spirit of this site and that's what the story tags are for
CD
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
This is one of my favorite stories Ive read on here in awhile. Id hate to miss out on them, even when they arent as BE focused.
Frig
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
If this doesnt belong here, then I would think most of my stuff doesnt belong, either. My personal opinion on inclusion is why not?
balance
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I thought it was good work, but also pretty dang sad. Like one of your characters said, you didn't give the featured mother and daughter an out, which I found surprising given your other stories. I do find the Materia character increasingly interesting. But the other commenters do have a point are you sure all of these stories belong here? They're excellent overall and you're a great writer, but if the focus is fiction and not BE, then it's worth thinking about.
Guyz
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
There wasn't much in the way of BE and the tone of the story was kind of weird. I thought it was well done for what you might have been going for but, I'm not sure this story was best for this site in terms of themes. I'm still interested in this universe you've created though I think not every story written in it belongs on this site.
Bubs
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
Not a whole lot of breast growth in this one and that's the reason we're here, and what is there isn't described well. I'm tired of stories that say and then they got bigger, and then even bigger without telling us how big. There are hints, but not enough to be sure. Descriptions like 1.5 feet in diameter might sound clinical, but work. And let us know what it's like to have them that size before changing them again.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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