Part 1. Collon finds himself changing after befriending strangers during a backcountry hiking trip. Who are these strangers? Why is he painfully transforming into a beautiful women? Stay tuned these answers and more in part 2 whenever I write it! (PS. my first story in years, I really could use feedback yall! thanks!)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.60
- BE: 3.20
- Characters: 3.60
- Technical: 3.60
mikerpen
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
I liked the first part. Thanks for writing and posting
Beachball Boobs
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
So far, so good! But as Russian Judge said, The transformation was good, but what is happening to the protagonist?
I guess my idea of BE isn't C or D cup, it is more like H or larger.
I do like the TG aspect of the story, so I'm ready for more!
Russian Judge
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
The transformation was good, but what is happening to the protagonist? What is she going to want as a new, attractive woman? Will she want sex with men or women or both? If she becomes pregnant will her gestation be 9 months or 9 days? How would she handle motherhood? So far she seems less than interested in sex or even friendship. Will this suddenly change?
Frig
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
TG stuff isnt really my thing so Im not the best reviewer, but I still felt compelled to defend the descriptions here. C cups on a petite person are fairly moderate, and D cups arent really extralarge. Theyre large for a young, thin person, but when women with really large breasts say theyve got D cups, theyre generally fibbing or mistaken. Probably the latter, given that most women should be wearing bras with smaller bands and higher letter cups.
Technically speaking, I felt the story was well written despite some questionable formatting changing the speaker should start a new para and typos like using peaking when peeking is meant. Characterization seemed a little inconsistent, but thats explainable by the protagonist being tricked. The portrayal of the protagonists internal monologue is excellent, and the best part of the story in my opinion.
Aitchbee
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Her breasts were pert and modest sized, possibly a C cup or larger Ccup is large Dcup is extralarge... if you're going to use bracup sizes, know what they mean!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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