The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Lord Nightraven
A Motherly Love vs Jealousy
A mother contemplates the offer she got from a less than forthcoming merchant.
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Short  sweet. Somewhat original. Compliments to the writer, keep it up. 
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Need improvement ! Keep going !
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
The authors work can be summarized in one quick sentence

It's a boring, unfinished mess that resembles only one part of a first draft.
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Was this a serious attempt? This is literally 4 paragraphs of nothing with like 2 sentences of and her breasts grew. There is no substance to this at all.
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 2
Downloaded it twice, just to be certain it wasn't corrupted or had something missing. It doesn't feel finished and it sadly feels more like a few key scenes drafted down to writing.

The idea behind the necklaces and two bracelets is interesting, plenty of room for improvement.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: