Set in Tieryn's B&M universe, a young Arab girl unknowingly becomes the test subject for a new B&M product the day before she has a date with her boyfriend.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.86
- Characters: 4.57
- Technical: 4.57
Bittyb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Safetystars
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This was a very enjoyable piece. Characterisation is fleshed out early and well, which makes for a more grounded story once the BE begins. My only criticism is that she might be a little more surprised when noticing her initial rapid development considering she seems to be an observant person heavily motivated by logic. The BE itself is described well and each moment brims with anticipation of endless more that is expected and longed for.
Looking forward to reading more of your work!
Malika
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
The protagonist's reaction to her growth seemed a little sudden and unusual for me. That said, it hardly broke my immersion, and the sex scenes alone are brilliant.
I genuinely feel this is one of the best expansion stories I've read in a while.
FleshFan
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I liked this story very much! Nice chars, good description, very good expansion!
Sumaya
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This was fantastic and groundbreaking, a real joy to read.
Despite not devoting much time to characterization in the preexpansion scenes, I immediately found Amira, the protagonist, to be likable and relatable. This made the subsequent growth and sex scenes more rewarding.
The growth and sex scenes themselves were written excellently. In particular, Amira's different background from most expansion story protagonists offered a new twist, and I was impressed by the amount of detail that went into making her character and her relationship to her boyfriend Tom seem more believable.
I hope to see more from this author soon! This was a strong debut, and the author deserves a lot of praise for their work.
hrambard
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A wonderful, daring, and very sexy story. The setup, which has the protagonist Amira discovering an experimental drink, is quite sudden, but the story is meant to be a vehicle for the two well written expansion scenes that take place. Well done on the imagery and variety of expansion, as well as the memorable character. I believe that Amira and her boyfriend could be fleshed out even further, but I can tell some genuine effort was put into characterization.
A few writing errors were present as well, but the overall composition was coherent, composed, and dedicated to sexiness.
Hanny
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Very sexy! I haven't seen a story like this with a a character I could identify with before. The characters were believable and the growth descriptions were very detailed. Highly recommend!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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