The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Body Shifters Tri Prelude
A Long Time ago... Wait No, that's copyrighted. 9 years ago, I asked if I could possibly delve into the future of the body shifters universe. Every year I would add a page or two to the stack as I'm not confident in my writing skills, but I kept at it. So now I think I have the first set up of the world that popped into my head so long ago. And for good or ill, I'm now sharing it with all of you. Please, be gentle. ;)
Average Scores:

Roid Abuser
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
A lot of big ideas here, too rapidly written.
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I thought the ideas behind the story were pretty exciting, up until the point where out of nowhere she gets hurt.

Technically, you don't need to come up with so many other ways of referring to things.  Like the young man instead of Michael.  It was distracting.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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