The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Chaos Theory
Todd built a machine able to change the future. He showed it to Tara. He shouldn't have.
Average Scores:

This shit bad
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Grammatical errors, the mc is a fuckng plank. Just another shit story
Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 4
The girl was an nonredeemable bitch that I hated and the boy was an idiot who could've gotten that upper hand at any time.
While the descriptions of her body were hot I hated the characters too much to enjoy the story.
The ending was very unsatisfying.
I feel like I got the bad ending to a game I wasn't even playing.
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
This was all right. A few grammatical errors, but nothing major other than what looked like a placeholder or revision note when he's describing how long her spent working on the machine.

There's a few gaps in logic that kind of distract from the story, but it was still an enjoyable read. Would've liked to see more of Tara bullying other people, and maybe a little less of Todd being too dumb to even attempt to fix things, but like I said, it was still decent
Roid Abuser
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Not a fan of femdom stories, especially when the protagonist is so particularly stupid as to not do the obvious, which, in this case, was to change the female to not be a bitch, to love him, to die, to forget she ever saw the machine, or whatever he wanted to do.

That said, you write well, have fun ideas.  Please keep it up.
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
He had the ability to fix any problem, but he never used it. 
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Neither of the main characters were particularly likeable and there were no supporting characters of any depth that aided the story progression either. However as a straightforward horror tale, you get enough plot to go from beginning to the rise, then climax and ending. Logic breaks as the story goes on of course with squarecube law outright being ignored, but this reader found it interesting nevertheless with bile fascination to see just how tightly the protagonist could hold the idiot ball repeatedly I was thinking of multiple ways to get out of the situation the protagonist found themselves in, but it never happened. The BE descriptions are acceptable given the scene set, but some wild numbers get thrown around to go with it. The technical quality is good with only a few grammar mistakes seen. The main characters are described well enough that you know who they are and what their motivations are, but I despised both of them very quickly into the tale so much so that this is the first review I've written in years! and while I finished the story, I didn't come away as having enjoyed it and will doubtfully read it again.

Nevertheless Wokod has come through with another interesting tale that is worth a read at least once and I thank Wokod very much for another good contribution to the site.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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