Mark, Betty, Jenny, and Angela have taken nanotech pills that allow them to enhance themselves. They are really enjoying the effects. However, Jenny is getting bigger faster than everyone else, and Betty is jealous of her. If three people temp boost a woman, how big will her boobs get? What does the overdrive ability do? What does the oddly named feedback-feedforward do? Can a nano-enhanced Mark keep three lusty women satisfied?
Includes part 1. Feedback encouraged. Tagging corrected. Part 3 to come later. I have ideas for it but no coherent outline as of 2017-08-22. Mail to giantfuzzypig@crow202.org .
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.20
- BE: 4.20
- Characters: 4.40
- Technical: 4.40
C
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
Honestly, I've seen much better in this website. All the sex scenes get done in two or three lines and they develop basically the same again and again, but sometimes they get bigger than before.
Bb47
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Just put all 3's if you comment as an author. Trust me, nobody cares about the ratings if you're getting awesome comments. This is good stuff, make sure the plot thickens. Create conflict. Betty gets more competitive, she pushes Mark to level her up alone. Perhaps there's a glitch where Mark stays perpetually horny, Betty can't keep up.. he goes and finds J. He fucks her crazy, overdrive each other. Personally, I want to see him able to fuck them with the monster cock size. Or, I'd like to see him grow another cock. Increase his stamina.
Giant Fuzzy Pig
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Roid Abuser and S I'm glad you liked it! Some of your suggestions will happen in part 4, for sure, because that'd cause interesting stuff to happen. I'm trying to write part 3 and it's going more slowly than I'd like because of some annoying stuff in real life. If someone would like to have a look at the finished outline for and or the first draft of part 3, then I have an email address up above and will gladly do that if they mail me. Also, it's not possible to submit a comment to this section unless you rate the story. Is there a convention for authors of stories who comment here on their own stories to give all 3s or all 4s or something? Or do authors just not comment and rate on their own stories? I don't want to toot my own horn or upset anyone or be a jerk. Thanks,
Roid Abuser
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Again, exactly my thing. Awesome. I hate to suggest tinkering with perfection, but I've got some ideas you may or may not want conflict. Specifically and I think you are going there some sort of bug in the system i.e., they all get stuck at level three or somesuch for a while and have to go about their normal lives. Which creates more conflict, like the dude's hot boss is way too into his body and he pretty much has to fuck her to keep his job. Perhaps in front of her husband that she cuckholds and demeans. Add uncontrollable horniness to them all that makes them do stupid things like him fucking the girls without consent of his girlfriend because his massive cock just won't go down. She finds out and is pissed. Etc.
S
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
GodDAMN. Now THAT's what I'm talkin' about!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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