A day at the beach proves to be more eventful than a petite scientist anticipated. More sweet-induced shenanigans lurk within a mysterious substance.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.25
- BE: 4.75
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 4.25
YN
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story. I think the introduction could have been truncated a bit, and the ending could have slightly more payoff, but otherwise fantastic.
Guy
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Good work as always, please consider writing more! Perhaps you should try posting these to more sites to improve the visibility of these works?
Giant Fuzzy Pig
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A lot of this works, especially the BE. There's some very good potential for future installments and the story hits a lot of things people like. It's mostly just Alex doing stuff, little interaction with Nicole, but that's not necessarily bad.
I have to agree about the spelling and grammar mistakes a previous poster mentioned grew taught for grew taut on page 19, of a bit sooner than expected on page 14, etcetera. These always activate my editor brain and take me out of enjoying the story. I am not sure how people do edits reviews here, but I'm sure that if you ask, someone will offer to help.
Yain
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
A nice second installment from this author, however I did notice some disjointed sentences and grammar in the story. If you want other people to proofread your stories just put a comment in this rating section.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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