The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Fret Pearson
Unknown
Obsession
A teenage girl obsessed with breasts gets Aladdin's Lamp with fearsome results.
Average Scores:

coder4freecode
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

"In the hallway, Megan ducked into the third floor janitor's closet and pulled Megan in behind her." would probably work better if there were two Megans in the story.

Mostly, a delightful tale of genie wishes. mc story code appears to be missing, despite the first wish having an mc component. (At least, the wording sounded like it produced a compulsion, not a desire, and the shower scene appeared to confirm that interpretation.)

I'd also say a sequel could work - especially since we didn't get to see the results of Megan's writing on the back of the paper. Note that, if I interpret things correctly, the third wish overrules anything written on the paper.

Gaffenheimer
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

One of your earliest stories, this one is beautiful yet vicious at the same time. Although I never minded miderately odd transformations such as the ones in this story. If you were Mike Judge, this would be Beavis and Butthead, and Addiction would be King of the Hill.

Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I'm too lazy to leave any feedback. The most valuable thing a reader can give an author.

Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

An excellent story that is very well written with good attention to detail. Wouldn't mind seeing a sequel using the same characters.

Nerd
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Fret, I love your style. Just about everything about your stories is imaginative to the utmost; the characters are realistic, the BE description is excellent, change vectors are reasonably original (very original in terms of The Minutes) for such a story-saturated fetish, your grammar is impeccable, etc. 5s all around.

benji dude
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

A very good story overall, just the odd spelling/gramma mistake bringing the technical mark down. There are some smart parts in it and some, not so smart parts, however the smart parts out weigh the not so smart parts, well done. I think there is room for a sequal, after all if the girls have been writing wishes on the paper with a pencil what's to say they can't rub out the previous wishes and add some more?

iamthedave
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Damn good read. Odd mistake here and there but generally excellent. A good depiction of mind-buggering obsession.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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