I have a few issues with this story.
First, the plot hinges on the premise that saline is somehow a valuable commodity. They don't want to give her the injections, not because it's dangerous or she doesn't deserve them, but because somehow there's a limited amount of saline to put in breasts. Saline is literally salt and water, two of the most common substances on earth.
Second, the descriptions of breast size were lacking. Sure, knowing how big a breast is in ml or cc is technically accurate, but is nearly impossible to visualize. Artificial breasts are sperical, right? Just give us the diameter and tell us how much they weighed. Other writers do this, but not because it's cliche, but because it works.
Third, there are no downsides to her expansion. She doesn't buckle under the weight, or feel like her skin is going to break as her breasts expand further than they ever should have. Show her feeling like she's bitten of more than she can chew or wonder if she's going to succeed.
Fourth, I just didn't care for the main character. We are shown a character in the beginning that I thought we would root for, then the story immediately shifts to a stuck up bitch who takes everything she can when she can. I want to see girls like that get their comeuppance. Instead of having her be excited at the amount that's going to be pumped into her breasts, have her excited at first, but when she finds out how much the final amount is, have her get nervous because she's not sure if she can take it, but she can't back out now or else she'll lose face. Have her succeed, but she doesn't know how she'll live now.
In this story's defense, the concept is unique enough, it just needed better execution. As well, the writing and grammar is good. There are many stories here that are nearly unreadable, but this was very neatly done. I hope this doesn't dissuade you from writing. I want to read what you have next, just be sure to include better descriptions and some proper obstacles for your characters. The more I can buy into a story, the more I can suspend my disbelief.
