Here's my second pass, this time focusing on our non-futa friend.
I tried to make it a good deal longer before submitting. It still includes the first part as well. I have some more written but didn't want to upload a half finished chapter.
I hope you enjoy it! I also just wanted to take a moment to thank some of my favorite OFB authors for the inspiration to finally write some smut, especially:
Mich, FrigOfFury, Kodos, Cheviot, XXXecil, The Light Fantastic.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.33
- Characters: 4.33
- Technical: 5.00
Lily Bunny
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Hot, just oh so very very hot. Please write more.
The Light Fantastic
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Flattery won't get you anywhere ;)
No, seriously, keep it up - it's very enjoyable! The only thing I could suggest is more description of the transformations, rather than going into fugue states.
cman
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Definitely fun and exciting. I'm Looking forward to more.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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