The Overflowing Bra

It doesn't flow right.  There's something just wrong with the way it's written.

Your plot and descriptive info is fine, write another, if only for me.
I can fix up any spelling errors, no big thing.  Your story line is better than most.  I can add blank lines if/when needed, in other words, I can reformat if I think it might be necessary. What I cannot do, is find another story teller like you.

Over all, a very decent story. I'm not sure what the other reviewers were seeing, but this is competently done. Not exactly my cup of tea, but not horrible either.

The writing style makes it almost impossible to read.

this redefines terrible

I don't know what parallel universe the previous reviewers were posting from, but the writing is at an acceptable level with no outstanding spelling or grammar mistakes based on the contents of the .doc file. 
The only thing that bothered me was the constant shifting of perspective between the two characters, particularly early on. It's hard to settle into a character and become comfortable with their viewpoint when you're suddenly thrust into the mind of someone else.

Just awful.

I couldn't make it past the first few paragraphs. The spelling and grammar were simply awful. I am not sure if English is your first language or not, but you really need to get someone to proofread your stories before posting them.