The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Jordan's Workouts
Just an alternate chapter 5. Most likely will have no bearing on chapter 6.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I've been waiting for you to continue/ complete this wonderful story. Please finish it. I'm dying to know what happens next.
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I liked the diary/episodic take of this story. I also really like Jordan as a character and her personality is really alluring, even when parsed like this.

I totally think you should consider splitting Jordan's Workouts into 2 distinct timelines. I think this alternate take is worth pursuing further. It shakes things up from Jordan's boob-centric life and gives her a bit of an adversary: her butt. Having to contend with the new challenges this presents would make for a great story I think. Great stuff, Shadow!
If you'd be interested in having an ally to bounce story ideas off of, you can reach me at

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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