billthedemonic@gmail.com
This is Chapter 5, chapter 6 will see some radical changes to the story line.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.80
- BE: 3.40
- Characters: 3.40
- Technical: 2.20
Not Robot
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Fun story especially the most recent chapter. Eager for a sequel!
yomama
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Don't know what this guy is all pissed about. The story isn't shit. Are there grammatical and spelling errors? Yes. A proofread would help. But it is still very readable. Especially given the material. I mean let's be honest, we're here to fap, not to read an award winning novel that will someday be turned into a movie.
So ignoring fucktard below me whose panties are all twisted up, the story is good so far. I've enjoyed reading it and I really like the preg stuff introduced. I'm excited to see what happens next.
JJM75
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Your writing is absolute shit.
FYI: It's CLOSED minded, not "close minded".
Your grammatical structure is very difficult to read.
XANA
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
I hope Lily will somehow find Hannah again, I liked the dynamic that was developing between them. Another point is there is a greater variety of changes if Hannah were to return to circulation.
Anon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 1
This story has been enjoyable so far, but PLEASE proofread before you submit it.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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