The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Devil's Plaything chapter 5
This is Chapter 5, chapter 6 will see some radical changes to the story line.
Average Scores:

Not Robot
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Fun story especially the most recent chapter. Eager for a sequel!

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Don't know what this guy is all pissed about. The story isn't shit. Are there grammatical and spelling errors? Yes. A proofread would help. But it is still very readable. Especially given the material. I mean let's be honest, we're here to fap, not to read an award winning novel that will someday be turned into a movie.

So ignoring fucktard below me whose panties are all twisted up, the story is good so far. I've enjoyed reading it and I really like the preg stuff introduced. I'm excited to see what happens next.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Your writing is absolute shit.

FYI: It's CLOSED minded, not "close minded".

Your grammatical structure is very difficult to read.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I hope Lily will somehow find Hannah again, I liked the dynamic that was developing between them. Another point is there is a greater variety of changes if Hannah were to return to circulation.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 1

This story has been enjoyable so far, but PLEASE proofread before you submit it.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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