The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Devil's Plaything chapter 4
Here is chapter 4 of my ongoing story, once again I included the previous chapters and hope you enjoy all of them.
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

You have improved on the grammar since the first chapter.

It may also help making the document in a wordpad
rft file or a word docx for better structing and spell check options.

Other than that the story has alot of room for potential,
Feel free to explore other fetishs like this site also has to offer
such as: Laction, Pregnancy Expansions, Cat Ear Girls and other
sexually orientated transformations.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I am absolutely in love with the concept of this story, but I feel that spelling and grammar errors are still holding you back quite a bit. My suggestion is to find someone who can help you edit your work for a cleaner release.
With that being said though, I have noticed improvement with each chapter you've released so I really hope you will continue to write and continue to develop as a writer. You have a lot of potential, so please keep at it! I am really looking forward to continuations of your work.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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