I have been trying to get another good story out for a while, but each idea was quickly scratched. This is a survivor, and it stars Alex and his friend Sarah, and a magic coin that came from a cursed lamp. There is a lot of transforming in this.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.80
- BE: 4.70
- Characters: 4.40
- Technical: 4.10
Orfeo
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
WonderLlama2008
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
The only problem with this story is it hasn't continued!
Lactationlover
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Great story, really hot overall. Love the description of the transformation in this. Would love to hear more in the story. With your permission I may make a few sequels to this and credit the first chapter to you. I have a few works in progress myself so it might take me a while to get to this one, but It might jump the queue due to the content involved! Still one wish left, wonder whats in store for Alexis ;)
I also noticed the lengthy paragraphs. Makes it a harder read. Didn't notice any typos but did see this. "she bent down and pulled one of my own leaking nipples into my mouth and began her own suckling" How can she pull Alexis' nipple into her own mouth and suckle it. Her nipple would be unavailable. Typical mistake, but so far thats all I noticed.
Keep it coming! Great work overall!
WonderLlama2008
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Excellent descriptions of the sensations of the changes! The paragraphs need to be organized (there should be more of them).
CrashO
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Formatting is a mess - need new paragraphs for every new person, place, or thing that is the subject. Dialogue needs work. I don't understand what the guy looks like before, and I don't know what the girl looks like before she got pregnant. Needs more dialogue to spice it up amid transformations, even if it's just exclamations. I find the concept of a drunken fuck with a guy when she is explicitly stated as a long time lesbian very confusing - that's now how being gay works. I would suggest that she's bi, but prefers women, so her one night stand makes more sense. Also, why did she decide to keep the baby? You need to detail the characters a bit better.
Having said thus, not bad - I liked the setup a lot, and I didn't expect TG when I opened the document. Woulda liked to see both get pregnant, maybe, but that's just being greedy. Keep writing but work on the above mentioned.
Beachball boobs
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Wow! MORE, please! More!!! I absolutely loved it!!
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I enjoyed it! Can't wait for ch 2! I didn't notice any technical errors. I did question the height of the pregnant girl, 4 ft 2? very short.
blerg
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Artanix413
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great story, I enjoyed reading it and hope you continue it
Q
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A good story, enjoyable read. Short and sweet, no bullshit, just the good stuff with just enough structure and intro for it to make sense. Not the best-best-best work I've seen, but quite high on the list. Good job -- if this is what you consider your minimum standard for an idea to hit paper, I feel it my duty to beg you to stop being such a perfectionist and cough up the rest of the goods you're hiding. Your "lesser ideas" are almost certainly worth the light of day if the quality of this story is anything to judge by. keep 'em coming!!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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