The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Lily: Part 2
A somewhat longer story, with the same ridiculous expansion. Enjoy!
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

This has great promise to it, and I am eager to see what else you have to offer in terms of stories, this series or otherwise.

Gorp Thorp
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I actually really liked the premise that she could control them to a point, but would eventually lose control. Trying but ultimately failing to resist her own growth (and enjoying it) was a great idea- I hope you work with it more!

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

One person speaks in each paragraph. When someone else says something out loud, that's a new paragraph. You'll make things a lot easier to read and track if you stick to that.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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