Lauren encounters her old classmate Matt, who had recently came back in town. Matt invites her to her new home to play a game of pool, only things are not as boring as they seem.
The archive contains two versions of the story, with two different endings.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.67
- BE: 5.00
- Characters: 4.33
- Technical: 3.67
Gardamuse
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Great descriptions and a compelling enough story with pretty okay characters. However, the text could be run-through a spell check, it doesn't seem like it has had that yet.
jno
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Catfish
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
Interesting little story, and the two different endings are fun. The descriptions of Lauren's changes are pretty hot. However, this could definitely have used an editor, or at least a run through a spell-check.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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