The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Nikki Talks About Her Growing Body
Given my inability to write anything in story form, i have tried to write something in the method of 2 people talking through instant messenger. 
Hopefully it'll bring a little brightness to someones day. Thanks
Average Scores:

Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

No chemistry. This story reminds me of all the girls who are too voluptuous and popular to take me seriously. Thanks for the reminder.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Bravo on taking the plunge!

A novel way to tell a story which definitely has some charm about it.

The characters feel real and the BE is just how I like it - slow(-ish) natural growth, although the format doesn't allow for as much detail as we might normally expect.

Would be interested in a part two if you have a mind to write one.

Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Seems to be your first piece of work so bravo for doing a brave thing. It's not bad for someone's first.

Although, it was too short in every way. Only six pages and descriptions were lacking and this genre thrives on descriptions, though most writing does. Her growth was basically "I am cup size -this- now", which isn't very exciting. Instead of having two people bumping into each other every few months, since they seem to be a couple? (this point could also use some clarification) Have them chat it up about how big she is and what comments she's gotten throughout the day. Weird things she's thinking like how they used to fit into her hands and now she can barely touch her fingers around them or how she got an offer to do a photoshoot and could use the money but is feeling conflicted about showing herself or maybe she's considering a strip club so that the dancing will help her get her exercise.

Also losing the IM short hand would help your case as it does make it hard to read for anyone trying to guess what "cba" or "summat" means, as well as just translating simple things like "gd" to "good".

Anyway, I'm writing all this to encourage you to redo this bigger and better than before. Pun intended. What substance there was, I enjoyed. Probably because I'm from the generation who knew MSN Messenger.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

hard to read and quite frankly boring

Lily Bunny
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

I have seen this style of story done well before, this is not one of them. You don't get a sense of who these people are or why you should care about them. The BE was....just kind of their. It wasn't surprising or interesting or even really that sexy. It felt like this story was slapped together on a lunch break or something, with nearly zero thought put into it.

Sorry, not very good at all.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

i like! keep it goin

Mr Cuddles
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Requires a Ph D in shorthand texting to comprehend.

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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