The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Double Blind
How real is real? Is she a really who she seems to be? If it's that good, does it matter? A little divergent from the other BE stories, but it's in there. Warning - long story, but no shaggy dogs
Average Scores:

Treble Clef
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

First, to get the only major complaint out of the way, this is just *barely* an expansion story at all. It's definitely erotic fiction, but not the sort I look for here.

Other than that, a very compelling and well written story with fleshed out, compelling characters, a realistic sci-fi setting that never distracts from plot, and, best of all, your fast-paced, conversational writing style is extremely readable, enough that one could get through the novella-length story in a single sitting. You've got a real aptitude for dialogue, summary, pacing and description and I think many of us BE writers should stop and take some notes on how you do things.

The only stylistic complaint I have is that I was occasionally confused by paragraphs in which a character speaks to Max and, in the same paragraph Max relates his reactions. Maybe it's just me, but I find that when there's a change of subject from character to character, it's best to split them up into separate paragraphs. Otherwise, it's unclear who's actually speaking. But, that's really just a quibble.

Overall, an excellent story that’s well worth reading, at least for non-expansion-related purposes. I'd like to see you tackle expansion full on. I haven't read the other stories you've posted yet but I plan to check them out.

The Almighty Popo
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

That was actually a very interesting story. I came here looking for a smut story, but I was quickly pulled into Max's life. It was an interesting idea, and I hope to see more writing of this caliber from you.

I suppose my only problem with the story is that it wasn't what I was looking for. While the descriptions of the sex were plentiful, I felt like the BE was barely there. Still, awesome story.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

My favorite part was the RoboCop reference.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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