The Overflowing Bra

I think the only thing that you should add is having the characters have A). more unique personality traits and, B). they should start having more interactions with ordinary people. I would also like to suggest that you try not to accidently use Synonyms : like rode and road.
Keep up the great work Ethereal,
Chaos-Master

You seem to be going for plot over sex in this one--which is a bit of a problem, since you're still not really building the plot. The characters are largely interchangeable, and they don't seem to have much in the way of reactions, taking almost everything in stride. There's also no larger conflict or question to answer, since everything they want to happen is happening perfectly. (Of course, I wouldn't be complaining about this if you were writing a long sex romp with minimal plot--I'm only saying this because the sex feels so deemphasized here, like it's being included to fill a quota.)
I don't want to be all negative--Fiona has the potential to be an interesting character, and she has a few interesting reactions. I also think there's a lot of potential in these folks' attempts to convert the world around them--since they're not using force and they're not brainwashing people, they have the potential to get into more meaningful conflicts than transformation fiction's standard "be controlled, or else fight, lose, and then be controlled." You just need to build and expand on that potential.