Not a lot going on here, just some character development and outlining possible antagonists, boring stuff. Growth and sex occur near the end. More to come later. Nerdy boy, Trevor, recounts the time where his and his best friend, Misty’s, lives met with some very drastic changes.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.17
- BE: 4.17
- Characters: 4.17
- Technical: 4.17
jwduke
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
The end???? Noooooooooooooo.... I want to read about her tits expanding to N cup or larger....Trevor's dick needs to grow to 12, 14, ??? and Gary has to have the crap beat out of him by Trevor!!!
Mercat
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Honesty, the buildup wasn't there, the story at the end was rushed. The BE really wasn't a key factor of the story. Hell it seemed to me that the majority was character building, but in reality I was very close to actually stop reading half way through... but I moved on with the story. To tell you the truth, it needs to be fleshed out and non-rushed... no pun intended.
This story tried to be good, but it really suffered in the fact that a kid with a good looking female friend was too shy got lucky at the end, but in reality the BE seemed to be almost an afterthought...
Xero
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Chaos-Master, that would be an awesome start on the next chapter! Yeah! From that point, build him up to a "slow boil". I loved Misty and her transformation on the final stretch. No pun intended. I couldn't get enough of that part. Had to stop before you know.
cman
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
As with all of your stuff, it's great, but it stops right when it starts getting really good. Keep writing!
ktc1221
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
It felt a little rushed near the end. I couldn't help but picture the Pokemon human characters...
Chaos-Master
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I feel that this story has some potential. Will Trevor go through ay changes? Imagine the look on Gary's face if a week or two from now Trevor at least equals him in physical strengh.
Keep up the good work!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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