dudermr@gmail.com
Brian gets a copy of the Master PC program, but doesn't get a chance to use it before it's found by his sister Abbie and their room mate Jenny. Growth Ensues!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.00
- BE: 3.64
- Characters: 3.27
- Technical: 3.55
RedGhost
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Measurements being out was a slight distraction, but I could ignore it. Saw some grammar errors though that I found myself correcting on the fly, but it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story. Good job.
cmdr_mark
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I love the reality shaping, "you did this to yourselves" bit. The extreme sizes? Fantastic! The woman at the end trying to be the alpha female and getting her comeuppance in one final "you did this to yourself"? PERFECT! The description of every "size" in the story? Horrible. Mirrors what everyone else says about band size and circumference.
Windie
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Over all I liked it. I felt it ended very abruptly and in an almsot anticlimactic way. I found myself double checking that I didn't misplace part of the story.
That guy
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
I like the story, and I'm one for MASSIVE expansions. Please do more.
Slapandtickle
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great story was fun to read but I agree with the others don't make up measurements the band size on a bra is consistent on a woman unless the girth of her chest is changing not her boobs. Meaning if u started of with a 36D if she grew to XXX then it would be a 36XXX bra
jrepg
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
I enjoyed the concept of changing reality and not noticing. As Vahktang mentioned, your measurements, especially penis circumference, are unrealistic and distract from the story. A standard beer can is ~7.5 inches in circumferences. 11 inches is insane (think about the size of a small woman's neck).
deus
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
A good start, but it seems to end abruptly. Is there another part coming? Thanks for writing.
OAO
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Decent story. Laughed at the Spaceballs luggage joke.
Vahktang
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Story was a little simplistic, but, practice, upload, you'll get better.
As to the measurements, take a piece of paper, that's 11 inches. Now, put in in a tube shape. That's 11 inch circumfrence. Imagine trying to put that in a mouth or other oriface.
Bra size: the numbers are the ribcage, the letters are the boob, usually 1" per letter. So, this 7' woman had a 8' 4" ribcage, taller than she was.
A little disturbing.
Finally, spell check is good, you rereading or a beta reader is better. For example: Heels are on shoes, not heals. Many people miss this sort of thing.
Oh, and the password thing was good.
Erazor
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
ktc
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A quick story without much depth. I recommend it to somebody looking for a typical Master PC story. Your measurements could use some work.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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