zadiusax@yahoo.com
After getting sprayed with Cynthia's milk at a disastrous dining-out Luanne returns home, intent on having a few choice words with her husband, Mark. However, Cynthia's milk has a few unexpected side effects that derail Luanne's plans and place her husband in peril. This chapter of Unauthorized Expansion is exploding with hot action! Don't miss!
(File contains parts 1 and 2)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.29
- BE: 4.43
- Characters: 3.43
- Technical: 4.57
Ragabash
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Hope you keep doing more! New installments or a new story. Love your work. Greetings!
RapierStab
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very nice! I always love the lust-for-more type characters. Eager for the next part!
that-guy-next-door
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
loved it! im hooked! cant wait till new parts!
deus777
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
I enjoyed this part more than the first one. I'm not a fan of how this part ended (dessicated husk, etc), but it won't stop me from checking out the next part. Thanks for writing.
menosay
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Is nice,could have bin alittle longer thought.
RiddleAellinea
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Delicious, I love Ex-Luanne's devilish greed by the end! Lust for more growth is so damned hot.
Paul Gerard
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Well done! Short, to the point, straight into the action. The flip side is that the characters didn't really grow (hur hur, wink wink) on me.
.doc format is okay, though at five pages each exporting it to html wouldn't have made much of a difference in the reading experience, would've let me read it in the browser and would've saved me from firing up OpenOffice. Just a pet peeve of mine, feel free to ignore. You're doing well, really getting into the quick serial episodes style.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
