Part 5 of 7, "The Final Night" -- The tale so few readers seem to care about continues: Evil Menena has for now left her sex and milk slaves-to-be, granting Barbara and David one last day and night together. Their desperate plans of escape go up in smoke while Barbara's breasts keep going up in size. As the strange medallion's powers reach beyond Barb's boobs and extend into David's groin, the couple's possibly last night together is about to become more than they ever could have imagined ... -- HTML, previous parts included, comments welcome. Y’know, the usual.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.75
- BE: 4.63
- Characters: 4.88
- Technical: 5.00
Janetheera
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Th'ats the best answer of all time! JMHO
MadMacs2010
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Paul, a ripping yarn of the highest quality. Do you write professionally? because if you don't, you really should consider it.
Keep up the good work, can't wait for the next episode.
Joe N.
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I have never rated or commented, but this chapter was so good I can't help myself. Please keep writing these amazing stories!
Brick
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I've come to truly love your stories, not because the types of transformations represented within them are necessarily my cup of tea but because you manage to weave a tantalizing landscape with your great descriptions (one of the few erotic writers to avoid the word 'fuck') and character development. Great work, can't wait for the next chapter.
AnontheMouse
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Bahamad
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I've thought the series, up until this point, was going to be a fairly slow story similar to other pieces where a young woman becomes a mermaid-type creature. This chapter just shattered that view and actually injected some variety into Barbara's personality; well done. Before now it felt like Barbara was going to be someone answering the call of the sea, maybe ending up contentedly feeding her or someone else's sea-babies but still being a weak/transparent character feeling helpless and controlled by other around her, while David felt more representative of being a simple male interest who perhaps pines for his lost love at the end of the tale. Now, we have a shift in control through the introduction of the voice, a confident disdain of the female antagonist's manipulations, and a rather unique sea-creature visualization of our female lead. HC Anderson's work this isn't, but instead feels like a compelling turn on the story mixed with the Odyssey and I'm very interested to see where this is going at this point.
As has become expected from a PaulGerard story, the actual structure of the story (paragraph spacing, word choice, grammar) is excellent.
ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Certainly taking an odd turn, but your writing is fantastic and its not the weirdest thing to be posted here, that's for damn sure.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Things are getting weird. I love it!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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