Petunia sates her roommate’s hunger then later averts an in-progress act of adultery.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 1.78
- BE: 1.67
- Characters: 1.67
- Technical: 1.56
wtf
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
These appear to be story fragments without any cohesion between paragraphs and the 3 pieces given.
Anon
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
I'm not sure what's happening in these.
Windie
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
What? Seriously what? This story makes absolutely no since at all. The sing sentence paragraphs remind me of really bad Erotic role-play only worse.
ktc
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I think Petunia gained some magic powers and then started having sexy fun, but the sexy fun is difficult to follow and understand.
BLACK JESUS
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Anon
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Never before have I read something where the author more dramatically needed to learn to show, not tell.
another guy
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Incoherent, unstructured, unreadable.
some guy
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 1
I like the premise for the story, but I feel like too much of the story is still in your head and not on the page. I have a hard time following and understanding what is going on and how all the events tie together and flow.
Chaos Master
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I think readers would appreciate it if you some how let them know which ORDER these stories should be read in. I think you also need to explain more thoroughly the rules and background of the world the stories are set in.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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