Our first submitted story; two survivors of a charter boat tour gone wrong find themselves on a deserted island... what odd goings on lie in store for the duo?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.21
- BE: 2.64
- Characters: 3.29
- Technical: 3.64
karen
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
a part two would be amazing. this is a really good start!
amanDDa
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Chris.... this is Mandy. Find me please. I miss our Role Plays.
Karenjenk@hotmail.com
A Reader
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
This could become a great story but is much to short by now. Some reactions of the characters are a bit unrealistic.
Bundoleptia
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Too short. It's a great set-up, but a freakin' tease as well.
MadMacs2010
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Good start, much potential, keep up the good work. Could we have a bit more next time though please?
MrHHH
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Is this a joke? It's only two pages.
This is not a story, it barely qualifies as a chapter. Im probably going to be taking this down.
Melon
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
It has potential, but dont post little teasers like this. Its way too short, even for a single "chapter".
blerg
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
repost in another format txt or pdf preferred
Guest
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
"So, I guess we're the only ones to survive the wreck. Let's eat"
Really?
They both just realized that their entire families are dead, and they just carry one like it's another day at the office?
I know BE fiction is shallow, but this takes it to a whole new level.
guy
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 4
It's The tale of Our Isle, except 95% shorter, and has a child in it.
jd
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Good writing style. Not much BE. I also felt a little weird reading about a 14 y/o girl, though, her puppy-ish devotion makes sense in that context. Please continue writing! I enjoyed the writing style,
Anon2
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Much potential, looking forward to the next chapters!
ktc
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I'm never one to say that underage relationships are good. I could technically change the number in word to be at least 16, but its the thpught not the physical number that bothers me most. A good start, and imo would be very interesting, the only beef I have with it is again the image given to me when somebody says "14 year old girl". Even 16 is not a pleasant image for me. A lot happens in 2-3 years after all.
Anon
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
A good start... a bit short, probably could have used more BE, but I'm looking forward to the next part if they're just discovering these fruits.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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