Part 1 of 5, "Home By The Sea": Barbara and David, shunned by the people of the town they were born in after their love was frowned upon by David's rejected wannabe lover, Menena the influential store owner, now live a solitary life in a little hut overlooking the ocean. Things take a turn for the bigger and stranger when Barbara finds a pendant in the guts of an odd catch that David brought home ... 12,900 words, HTML, and - oh look, this story could do with a comment from you, yes YOU :-)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.60
- Characters: 4.80
- Technical: 5.00
MadMacs2010
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Well up to your normal standard Paul, keep up the good work. I enjoyed this story, it left me curious as to where it will go, can't wait for part 2.
Marked down the BE as there is only a little but I guess that's because it's a starter episode, also I noticed there were a couple of spellings but nothing serious.
loitnant
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
This is a great story but it could be even better. More BE and AG descriptions please. If you don't feel like putting more description into the growth process, at least provide comparisons between her formerly slim body and her new assets both above and below. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Coffee Pilot
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great work! Definitely proves longer BE stories are good if they're written well enough. Really enjoyed the characters and scene descriptions. Easily the sexiest and most interesting ocean based story I've read. Most are just simple mermaid TF's without much lead up. This one seems to be taking a much more fascinating path.
watcher
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Excellent work. Left me wanting to know more about the characters.
dh
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Very well written and fun to read. I could use some more BE description but hey I am not complaining. Great story.
Vlad
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I have been reading BE stories for ten years now and I don't think I have ever read BE via fish before; bravo, I love the originality. It doesn't hurt that it was supremely well written. Keep it up.
foobarbaz
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Damn those delicious gender-specific fish!
ktc
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Quite the catch, so to speak. Fantastic story and I can't wait to read more.
Redline
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Fantastically written. Would love to see more.
anonomous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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