Norah is a six-foot-eight woman with 55 inch legs living a troubled life but when she begins loosing control of her body, and her grip on reality, things get out of hand.
This is my first story so please leave some advice for how to improve. This is much more on the leg growth and general expansion side of things then breasts but have no fear, there is some huge breast expansion in this story.
Sorry for the double-post but this version includes .odt, .doc, .txt, and .html
Average Scores:
- Overall: 2.67
- BE: 2.50
- Characters: 2.00
- Technical: 2.50
kitty
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Evis Yet To Come
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
A twelve inch dildo stuffed into a body that is only 15 inches from pubis to shoulder has got to be a 'fulfilling' experience.
EI
doesn't matter
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Stories have to be at least a little believable. did you do the math 6' 8'' minus 55'' means she was only 25'' from her legs to the top of her head???????
A Nonny Mouse
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I'm going to say you have potential. I hate critics and I find it ironic to be one. Sorry. This story seemed a bit rushed. You might try writing it at a slower pace. Savor the changes and details.
GeoffK
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
Presumably, this part of the story is mostly a setup for when she starts to take the (incorrect) hormones. But I agree that a nearly albino beanpole with a waistline around most women's eye-level is an odd character to start with. How did she get so extreme in the first place?
I find city-block sized expansion to be a bit much and overall I thought the dream sequences were a bit confusing and unsatisfactory. From a technical standpoint, it was mostly
Ok, but would have benefited from a few more commas and some overall proofing.
The story does have potential and the second part would probably be better, but some of the imagery is a little odd.
Anon
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
This story isn't the worst on the site, but it definitely gives odd imagery: "The apartment was silent except for her tears and the sound of a knock at the door."
Doing the math, 55 inch legs on someone who's 82 inches tall leaves 27 inches for the torso, neck and head. A reasonable guess of a foot for neck and head, and you have a girl with a torso that's 15 inches.
Consider that plus or minus 10% off of "average height" is already considered tall or short: for a man: 77, 69, and 62 inches; for a woman: 72, 65, and 59 inches. An inseam already 50% more than a tall persons is not the best place to start on a story where the crux of the story is showcasing the changes before, during, after. In such a story, it's best to start realistically to further highlight the changes that happen by the end.
The story itself has a difficult flow, barely establishing the main character before putting her through a series of back and forth dreams that distort reality.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
