The Overflowing Bra

The author is either English as a (Poor)second language, or illiterate.
Needs to spend more time conveying his thoughts.  I suspect using Babelfish to translate from the original language might provide something readable.
It's so bad I suspect an editor can't help it.
A waste of space as is, should be deleted.

There needs to be a delete option for stuff this bad

You have a lot to learn when it comes to writing, jabroni...

Hypocrisy warning!
Somebody write a real story please? Having this on top of the ofb makes this site look shitty.

Get a life, and learn some english. Fucking moron.

whats a .wps file?

Please stop writing.

Please do not feed the trolls.

I have to agree with just about everyone who reviewed this, it's terrible, the spelling/punctuation/grammatical errors make it essentially unreadable!  If English is not your native language then maybe you should have written it in your native language and then tried to find someone to translate it for you.  Otherwise I would refrain from attempting to write anything in English until you have a satisfactory grasp of the English language.  If English is your native language, then perhaps you should consider going back to school to relearn it, it's that bad!!

the reason i give this story an overall enjoyment of 2 is because it actually has some potential. But the execution of the story is absolutelly horrendous. I agree with other reviewers. You need to learn the English language. 
I only managed to skim through the whole thing. Your grammar is gruesome and you dont even bother with using whole sentences! Half the time i have to guess what you actually meant to write. It is like you have the story in your head, but are in such a hurry to write it down, that you forget half the sentences. 
Take your time and build real, full sentences. 
One tip, try reading books in english. If books are too hard in the beginning, then try to read the stuff of some of the better known fanfiction writers on the net. Stories I can reccomend is Destiny up for grabs By Sheilynn, and even more, The Paradigm of uncertainty by Lori. You should also read the rest of Lori's trilogy.  the more you read, the easier it becomes to write.
Good luck in the future.  

needs to be edited to make sense, the english was extremely poor

Zero. Until you post it in something other than a .wps file...

waste of time

reading make you feel stupid 

I feel physical pain from trying to read that.

Awful. Don't bother again, please

Couldn't finish the first paragraph. Please, if you're going to post on an English-language site, at least bother to learn English?

Is it just me, or does it seem like some of the foreign writers are just putting their documents into a literal translator program and not  changing anything?  Please, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but you need to learn the English language a little bit better than this before you start posting stories like this.

Not good. Note that even the description has typos and doesn't make sense. 

should be a 0 for this one, couldnt even finish

This is yet another direct ripoff an already popular story. By ripoff, I don't mean stealing a few random elements for cameos nor taking inspiration from. This is a direct page for page rip from ManGrowing's Comic on DeviantArt. People that do this should be ashamed. Trying to take credit for another's source of media is just.... horrible. This story gets 1's across the board for uncreative writing & attempted theft.

Hard to open in Word. Rich Text Format should be used as this is a universal format that can be opened with most word processors.

Ditto Crap not worth you time

a very bad translation of Mangrowings bug story. better off finding his devart (or hentai foudnry for uncensored) and reading the comics.

I normally don't go out of my way to leave bad feedback but this was an exception. Fail on every level.

Crap

Kyut described it perfectly. This is just... just no.

...no. just no.