The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Hedi and Iva
Another Moment in Time, this time with a pair of long time friends who have an expanding time shopping for a dress...
Average Scores:

Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Nice beginning, but too fast ongoing.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

Overall not too bad. However the stories flow is broken when the tense changes from past to present. This is a common problem many writers fail to notice. Try to keep the tense consistent to ensure ease of reading. Suddenly going from "She had never..." to "She then sits..." is like hitting a road block.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

There are quite a few typos. I enjoyed it, but it was pretty short. Keep writing, but spend a little more time proofreading or ask someone else to check it for you. Also, it wouldn't hurt if there were a little more to the story.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Nice , very nice ;)

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

The file is fine. It's an OpenOffice document, and that program is free.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

The file doesn't work. Make it a word document.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: