thegreygreyman@gmail.com
Based on a deviantART illustration by the same name.
The picture is of two sisters, one of whom was "Chosen of the Gods," depicted as a typical DM's nightmare character (or the DM's Player Character). When I understood there was no ridiculous story to go along with the picture I thought "No, this must not be." This story is silly, but much more mild than my other works. However, all of my works have a certain... motif to them which is present here. Sincerely,
Mr. GreyMan
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.57
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 3.43
- Technical: 2.29
oxriff
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
very much enjoyed reading the story! just wish Sophya could've got some growth herself!
brawn
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
Besides the technical errors I liked the story overall.
However, I don't know why people are complaining about the lack of pictures. Most stories here aren't illustrated. If you really want to see his inspiration that bad a quick google image search of "Sophya and Niky" gets what I am sure is the picture he is talking about as the first hit. I guess people here find google hard, or at least harder than complaining.
GeoffK
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3
The story wasn't terrible, but it didn't really click with me. I guess the focus on gaining power and strength rather than BE was an issue.
Even if you can provide the pictures themselves, you should include a link to them. I can't imagine the artist objecting to that.
elvis at last
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
I'm sure it is the word switching that he is talking about.
For instance :
'her huge barley covered beasts' is almost certainly not what you meant. You probably wanted
'her huge barely covered breasts' but the other one is amusing.
Jack
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
I liked it for the most part. although Niky was a tad bit on the unlikeable side and I did feel for Sophya, but thats how the story was ment to be I'm guessing. Over all good job.
Mr. GreyMan
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 1
They're not my pictures and were not included. I asked the artist for permission to use the characters, not the art. I am not sure what to say about the other part of your comment. I did run it through a Word spell-checker but did not want to change the character's names nor the word "greatsword," which are the only ones highlighted. That being said, I am sure there are other spelling-like errors in the work. I do switch words all the time, but spell check does not catch that. Ah well.
Sincerely,
Mr. GreyMan
Aitchbee
Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1
Neither of your pictures download. And it is always a good idea to CAREFULLY proof-read a story before you post it. If your word-processing program has grammar-check, please use it!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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