The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Dark Trianni
Mom's Special Pills (Once Again)
Notice: Yeah. Let's try one more time. DirtyMind had a good concept, but the execution was really quite subpar. Nice try, guy, we all gotta start somewhere. Then Foogo gave us his attempt at revisiting the story, and did a little better, but it felt like the same, maybe a bit more rushed. Then comes BB47 who took the concept, switched it around some and gave his own little spin. Better, but didn't feel quite as whole. So I figure I'm bored enough, need something to get my gears moving again, and that I'd give it a try myself. I don't take credit for this, at all, it should all go to DirtyMind. Foogo and BB too, since they tried hard enough.

Synopsis: Tim's Aunt is in town, and crashes over at his and his mother's place for her stay. When a package arrives, containing some rather bizarre pills, the family is curious and experiences their effects, effectively pushing the bounds of their libido... And their clothes.
Average Scores:

Sysop
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

First, let me start out by saying that INC is not my preferred fetish. That being said, the story was still so well written that I loved it.

Your writing is great. You use very descriptive words when talking about the growth sequences and describing the mental states of the characters. I did notice a few times in the story where you may have mixed the character names up (when Shelly left home comes to mind). But that is a very minor quibble on an otherwise great story.

I would love to see a follow-on story with some PREG and maybe some new characters. I'm not sure if you are still checking comments from your other stories, but a folow-on to Nine-Tenths would be FRACKING AWESOME!

Foogo
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Loved it. Was the story that I hoped it could be. Cant wait to read more of your writing.

BB47
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I'm totally with Roid. Good job on the story.. it's cool that you fleshed it out with background and subplots.. hell, all I did was take the main story and correct it a little bit and rewrite some of the language in my own voice. However, I did do one thing that I felt I needed to do in my version, I got rid of the Mother/Son incest. Every now and then, I'll stumble across this idea in these types of stories and it is a total turn-off for me. I usually like to imagine myself as the protagonist and in this version.. well.. not so much. That aside, you did a great job. Keep writing!

Roid Abuser
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

I like the idea of people taking a story and rewriting the heck out of it; kind of a fun concept. More fun that the build-on-the-story idea, in that you can build or delte as you please.

Regarding the story, I'm always a sucker for turning into a stud and fucking hot women.

The quibbles? His mom? Really? What a sick fuck. How about his step mom and her sister? Dad away in Thailand for six months, and he sent the drugs to his son for safe keeping, with strick instructions not to use them. (I'm a pervert, but even I have standards.)

The Dark Trianni
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Why? Because it's an interesting concept to some and deserves an honest chance. :D Thanks for the kind score too, I'll bet you read it. xP

gfcgf
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

why do people keep rewritting the same crappy story?

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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