The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Yashmen Halfcount
Creme Dream and More Cream
The plot of this Parisian thriller gets thicker than a bowl of chocolate pudding as we learn more about the importance of Laurentine and Jacque to the events of the original Creme Puff.  More chocolate messiness to follow.  Feel free to dribble some of your own chocolate feedback in my special rating sauce.  Included is a copy of Creme Puff in case you hadn't already read it.  
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

You're the greaetst! JMHO

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

+ Extreme Mess Time. The bolded dream prophecy is really what got Creme Dream going, and the liveliness brought on by Jacque and the Epic Meal Time references in the middle section added quite a bit of fun to the story. Little details like the chirping and Jack Danielle's went a long way.
+ The origin story for the orange breast description was interesting and effectively done.
+ The final few pages really deliver on all of the fluids, foods, and breasts you'd want and expect from a story blending culinary and erotic elements.

- First few pages (dream sequence). I had some difficulty following what exactly was happening in the dream, but the bigger issue is kicking off the story this way. I wouldn't be surprised if quite a few people were turned off and stopped reading during that section. It's an interesting section on a technical level with things like the contrasting soundtrack as Aureole falls, but it's a tough way to draw someone into erotic fiction.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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