paladinrose@gmail.com
Dawn discovers that her mind is susceptible to hypnosis. VERY susceptible. And she likes it.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.83
- BE: 4.75
- Characters: 4.50
- Technical: 4.25
deus
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Great stuff. I loved it! There were some typos that could be corrected through proofreading, and it takes awhile to get into the heart of the story, but it's worth it! Thanks for writing.
mango
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Fantastic story.
Background on Mitch would be good - his 'windfall' isn't tied into anything else, it seems like an afterthought.
Citizen Snips
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
This is one of the best stories I have read on this site; good storytelling and pretty likeable characters. A few spelling and grammar errors here and there but not enough to derail the flow.
I eagerly await your next piece.
Kanodin
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Please challenge the protagonists.
BA099
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
A few technicalities, which I can forgive. The story was well written, the characters were well defined and the overall presentation was perfect. Keep it up.
anon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
loved it, i cant help but think that part of the scene where they went to the hypnotist to figure it out seemed like deja vu, i swear i read a scene almost identical to it not too long ago.
Sobtac
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Truley great story, well done
Hyoton
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This was a really great story.I enjoyed every minute of it.I've found that the best story's on this website delve into the psychological aspects and you did it well
banditkings
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I must say it started out slow, maybe too slow. The writing and story makes up for the slow start. She out grow a G-cup but, never say that she grow into, at the end of the love making.
The Martian
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This is a truly great story. Hypnosis has always been one of my favourite triggers for BE and you use it so well. Only featuring twice, but underlying the entire plot, always present.
Slow growth is also the most difficult to write as you have to emphasise the impact of what is essentially a very small change each time, but you carried it off masterfully here.
All I can say is keep writing, I eagerly await your next work!
Ninja IN The Night
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I really loved this story. It had character development, your antagonist, protaganist, your breast expansion and your incurable nympho brought on by her own admittance to her addiction! This is just a good story overall. Bravismo, encore; encore!
Wolf
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
The story was amazing. One of the best I have read in a long time.
The only downside were some spelling errors. But apart from that, reading this was easy and enjoyable. :)
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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