Laura had always felt like she was invisible. She was so unremarkable people rarely noticed her at work or anywhere else. Then one day she found a mysterious scroll which changed everything...
Wonderful story !
10 outta 10 would read again, would like a story similar to that of an animation I'm currently in love with called growing hunger by brainstorm on aryion.com.rn
Best story I have ever read on here. So sad you haven't written more or maybe I have just missed what you have written. I love Laura she is so easy to identify with and care about! Tom is also great.rn Though not as many people here liked it, I loved that there were no sex scenes because I think that would have ruined Laura's innocence. It's nice to have transformation without the smuttiness.rn I'm torn on whether or not I would like to see a sequel. I think the way it ended was great it was all up to our imaginations. Still, I would like to see Laura pass on the blessing to someone else maybe her enemies so they can find peace with Laura and others or have Laura continue to grow, maybe in troubling ways what would happen if she became the most beautiful woman in the world or so beautiful Tom and others couldn't stand it, or people started to worship her, etc..rn Anyway, I simply loved it. Would love to read more stories from you, especially if they are anything like this one!
Even though this stoey was meant for men, it's still one of my all-time faves. Congrats for doing the near-impossible and writing erotica that appeals to both genders!
Now if only being beautiful were this easy in real life...
Best Story Ever. Hands down. Where's the sequel!? PLEASE! MoAr! :D
have her come upon Beshine or Chelsea Charms ;)
I searechd a bunch of sites and this was the best.
Just about perfect. Thank you!
Initial reactions:
- don't make a sequel: leave Tom's reaction to the imagination
- I love that this isn't overly sexualised (agree with Moothoot); although confidence increases, it doesn't go too far in my opinion, and this is one of few I have read that doesn't lend the protagonist unbearable sexual cravings...flirty is good
- The pacing was almost perfect, as in, there was one point where you glossed over non-BE changes a bit quickly, but overall this was exceptional. The balance of prose to speech was great
- Come back to edit this story in 2-6 months. I would like to think by the effort you put into this, that you are a bit of a perfectionist. You will pick up the 3 or 4 typos (not a criticism, as 3-4 is 10 times better than I could hope on here - most published books have a couple); you will see little ways to tweak it
- I am glad that Laura is a good and wholesome protagonist, and although she does take advantage of people, either she can't help it and tries to minimise it, or the others really do deserve it (and I'm glad you focused on the gain rather than the many small losses).
Very well done story, a nice slow BE with some nice descriptions.
This story is fantastic. Thank you for sharing it, and please continue writing.
I agree with the commenters who suggested more paragraph breaks to increase readability.
If you're thinking about ways to continue developing the story, I'm curious to see how the blessing would handle contrasting beauty ideals (e.g., a female athlete contributes her musclular development, but a runway model contributes her slenderness).
One of the best transfer stories I have read in a long time. Very good story and nice descriptions. My only complain is that we couldn't see the jaw of Tom hitting the floor when he will see her.
I truly hope you continue doing more stories in this universe.
Excellent!
I keep coming back and waiting and wanting for more!
I really enjoyed this story. Best one I have in a while. The plot was a little...lacking, but it was definitely enjoyable. And after a while some of the dialogue between characters seemed a bit more geared toward advancing the main character's bust rather than the story. Great job, I'd love to read a continuation.
Oh my god, this one had everything... pretty much every aspect of physical beauty gets enhanced on the protagonist.
Amazing story I just read the blessing of apollo today and was enthralled, couldn't wait for more and thought it would be hard to top but you did it, I loved this story. It had all of my favorite elements: slow growth, transfer, increased beauty, growth, clothes bursting, AP (the increased beauty kind), and that's just the processes, I liked the karmic aspect to it, I love stories that aren't mean-spirited even if some of the characters in it are. You've done in 2 free stories what tons of paid content has come close to, perhaps even done but not as well. I rarely leave feedback for stories even less so on here compared to a forum but I just had to comment on this one.
My only criticisms are I'd like to see more detail in the process and double check the rates/sizes so there aren't radical changes in size or size errors where you might not have intended them. As for paragraphs they were well done, although indenting would help a bit.
Really enjoyed this I hope there's an entire series spanning the pantheon, can't wait to see more.
The story arc is excellent, taking her from plain Jane to Fertility Goddess. Her upbeat attitude it especially charming, and I love the characters she interacts with.
I love the supernatural angle, which could be played up more. And the BE could be better (and more descriptions of how our heroine looks now that she's achieved such an hourglass figure, perhaps some accounts of how many more looks she's getting, or manuvering with her new attributes).
And, ideally, to finally get her beau with her to roam those hills and valleys with her...
This story is worth paying for if it had some illustration added.
However, the layout of the writing style felt a bit like a wall of text at first glance. Even tho it was needly cut in to smaller chunks, I believe that if dialogs where more spread out, it would have been even more pleasing to read. In its current from its still good, but i believe it could have better if done differently.
Perfectly done, definitely a new favorite
Loved the stoy as I am a huge fan of the redistribution of wealth. I would love to see how those who lost their preciuos looks dealt with the loss of their traits. Would love a continuation or a sequal...Please keep writing...Thanks
Brilliant. Sexy without being sleazy. As enjoyable as a story alone as it was as piece of erotic fiction. Enjoyable characters in the form of the protagonist and the interns who I genuinely liked. I look foward to what you right nice
I like how it builds and builds. It really captures and slowly savors each element of beautification as they blossom into our idyllic woman. There are as many types of stories on this site as there are readers. Some enjoy very specific types of expansion. Some enjoy very specific situations. Personally, I like when the expansion or transformation is accompanied with at least some element of eroticism. It is not only the desire of pure expansion that brings some, perhaps most of us to this archive, but also the delectability of connection. I want the characters to DO something with the gifts they've been given. Is it enough to just see it? To desire it? The internet itself is the epitome of sexual window shopping. Everything is seen, but not touched. Witnessed but not experienced. That is why these stories can be so poignant. I want a story to transport me past the glass wall.. through the looking glass, to where I emotionally experience the character's actions.
You take us there with Laura. Your writing is that good! We are immersed into her reality and travel along with her through this journey. The part that slays me, is that there is never a connection made with another person. Laura's body is never enjoyed!.. and because of that, I feel cheated and betrayed. Yet another window shopping adventure that ends with my face pressed against the glass, drooling at the delights trapped inside.
I found it a bit unbelievable how all females reacted to her, and I'm a bit curious about what kind of experience with managers you've had. :)
I also would have liked to see a climax to the story, but perhaps there's a sequel coming?
Despite some of the characters it was still excellent.
One of the best pieces ever released here. I look forward to any sequels, prequels, or other stories you release.
This was pretty good. I know some are saying that a sequel isn't necessary, but I'd definitely like to see future stories with Laura.
You should have a story where Laura and Rachel run into one another. That should set up a really nice feedback loop I should think.
Please sir, can I have some more? Excellent story that should be spread to other story sites. Keep up the good work and know that you have a waiting audience for your stories.
I took off a point in writing style because you should break up the work into smaller paragraphs. It would be easier to read than the blocks of text you have now.
I loved the story. I haven't done a feedback to an author but i think that you deserved one. I Sincerelly hope that you write a sequel to do this. I do have some ideas about that, but hey you are the author and write what ever you feel like. This story was amazing. Like somebody said earlier, its hard to find a good story that doesn't go straight to the sex or bimbo-lize somebody right off the back. Plus the character was developing very nicely. I would like to see what happens to Laura in the future.
I would like to see Tom's reaction to her. I would like to see if she would meet up with the teenagers that she tried to help. I would like to see if the other women that she was getting ready to work with, if they will still find things that they a superior to her. Like maybe vocals, like they can sing better than her, or are more athletic. What about intelligence? theres also the possibility? These are just some ideas. If Tom and her go steady and get married, what about the beauty of pregnancy, will it affect her in that matter as well. Is she going to be able to keep the scroll or is she going to hand it off somebody else that was just like her. These are questions that i have, but like i said its your story? Please write a sequel to this. :)
Ok, this is a good story, but it is not the first time I've seen it... I did enjoy the story again though. Paragraphs would of been nice though, at least ones in the right places... :)
This made the wait for new work from you worth it. Very good in terms of structure, plot, and BE. The only issues I found with it is that it is kind of slow - and there are some issues with believability (every woman looking down on her), but nothing major. I I will await a sequel by reading this over and over, just like I did waiting on this story.
Definitely one of the best new stories to come out in quite a long time. I always liked the longer more drawn out stories but I've read most of the goods ones by now. Some intimacy would have been a nice addition, but even without it is still excellent. I'll certainly check out your other story and eagerly hope you will continue writing.
omg this story omg. This is the best BE story I've read in ages, easily top 3! I loved how sexy the story was just with expansion alone without crude language, I doubt this rated higher than PG-13!
Too often people resort to BE=horny, bimbolizing, sex romps which lack the description and effort you put into this. At no point was I "come on! Wheres the sex!" your descriptions were enough to make happy.
Please Please I beseech you to continue posting!
Fantastic pacing, best I've seen. Genuinely a good story in its own right. Keep it up, that was great!
Minus the desire to see something physical occur between the main characters as well as a little more paragraphing, the story is downright superb. The characters are well defined and fleshed out. The story doesn't feel rush or underdeveloped. Structure, grammar and spelling were also spot on, always a plus. You are an excellent writer. I seriously look forward to more work done by your hand in the future. Bravo!
This story is now one of my all time favorites.
Absolutely perfect. The only thing I might miss is some sex and wee bit more ass development, but what the heck, it's bloody awesome as it is. One of the great things with this story is that I actually like and sympathise with Laura, the main character, which is more than one could say for most expansion stories.
Seriously amazing 'story', not just be story. I liked the thought, and care you put into the tale but the characters seemed slightly undeveloped. I mention the characters, because I feel like a rating of a story is incomplete without something that a person can work on a little by the next one. I loved the story, and I think I can honesty say you're probably a good person in real life. Thanks for this and I look forward to anything you have to write in the future.
Paragraphs would be nice. A sex scene or a climax of some sort as well.
Absolutely stunning story. No need for an epilogue or sequel. May even make for a great read even for those not into our tastes.
Well, you've hit two for two so far! I liked how this story wasn't as up-and-down as the last one was; the steady growth progression was a lot easier to follow than the growth in Apollo. Have you thought at all about writing a sex scene into your next work?
What worked against my suspension of disbelief, though, was the idea that so many women judged the character completely by her looks, and that they were everywhere. It just seemed a bit...much.
Holy moley, I am blown away. You 'must' be from another world after all! This story was out of this world sir. I've always been a fan of the slow, drawn out change story and this one certainly fits that to a tee. I am chagrined to say I was too enthralled to even consider keeping an eye out for a helpful technical comment. I doubt there are any to make in any case!
It is also refreshing to find an "Aphrodite" story that does not descend into outright sluttiness, which while enticing in its own capacity, can detract from a story.
As Ninja mentioned, I also like the moral aspect of the story. However, as with many stories of this type, ie. their loss her gain. No matter how meanspirited they are (within reason, I mean murderers are right out you know? :P) I dislike the thought of women getting LESS attractive, but that doesn't make this any less great a work. I also thought it puzzling that there were no opportunities for redemption of the wayward female populace until Laura stepped in directly for the girls. Mayhaps in a sequel the Disciple will help bring people back on course, and maybe even help her, former, fellow invisibles? Thanks for the delightful trip Martian.
I have never commented on a story before... but this was, simply put, awesome. Attribute theft and overall beauty growth was well-described and the b.e. great. Keep on writing!
This was a very interesting story and a true to heart one at that. I liked how you included the moral code through the whole story and kept the main character on the straight. That said, I do feel it ended a tad earlier than I had hoped and would love to see a sequel sometime in the near future where Tom actually gets to see her. Kudos for writing such a good story and thanks for entertaining me for a good hour.