A young girl named Emily wins a treatment from the mysterious "Mr Chan". Emily is a girl who knows what she wants, but will she be able to control herself once she discovers what his "treatment" is?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.88
- BE: 4.38
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 4.31
Wyldcard
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Excellent story!! Hope to see more from you!
flies
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
preg isn't really my thing, but i enjoyed this. Parts of this story were almost cartoonish - i mean, I can imagine a real man saying some of those things about his cock. I guess that was what you were going for, but anyway, I thought it was funny!
The way the main character felt so compelled to screw him definitely seemed like it deserved an 'mc' tag. There was no indication prior to the main event that such massive changes were at all desirable (quite the opposite), but she comes out of it loving what happened to her. This is unnatural behavior, I mean, it's mind control.
Kodos
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This is exactly the sort of writing I'd like to see more of around here.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Overall nice work. I'd echo a couple of things that Crash said, mostly about mind control and suspension of disbelief. Unless mindcontrol is your thing, I'd have suggested writing a realisation scene where she sees that she really did want to be pregnant subconsciously all along- she saw the warning signs of what was going to happen, and ignored them not because she was stupid, but because deep down it was what she wanted.
I would, however, suggest that you don't write a sequel! The story is good where it is! Write a new story with huge bosoms and bigger bellies. I think things work better that way. I personally liked the protagonist more than the guy, so reading more about him would be less interesting.
cman
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Totally awesome story. Enjoyable to read and exciting too. The only thing I was left wanting was her going BIGGER :) The sexual frenzy is so exciting, so why would she stop?
G-man001
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Like you were in my head for my fantasy. Awesome! Nice titgrowth and wonderful preg!
A few spelling errors and a little more character out of the doc would have been nice. Great job! Love to see more from you with these codes!
deus
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
As others have noted, there were a couple of continuity issues and some spelling/grammar errors in a few places, but overall, I loved it. I think exploring more about the doctor's wife in the next installment would be great!
G-man001
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Like you were in my head for my fantasy. Awesome! Nice titgrowth and wonderful preg!
A few spelling errors and a little more character out of the doc would have been nice. Great job! Love to see more from you with these codes!
an
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Crash
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great, and I'm immensely happy to see some preg content, but it felt a little awkward at times. She goes to see a man about a miracle treatment that gets them hugely pregnant and busty and she gets skeptical when she says it involves his cock? I mean, really? they get PREGNANT and she's skeptical it involves SEX? It also feels a bit strange and forced at times - IE when they stay at heavily pregnant for 9 months, and nobody questions how, the whole 'women want to take their panties off around me', and whatnot. I can suspend my disbelief but up to a certain point several things just
refuse to connect.
But her needs were well-thought out if a bit creepy given that it feels like he mind controlled her into wanting to get knocked up, and the story features lots of sex, buildup, and huge bellies and milkcans. Just for being a pregnancy based story for the first time in forever I give it 5 for overall and I want to see more.
Brit
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
+5 for the AWESOME pen name.
funtime121
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
maby with the next story his wife causes MPG and MG in guys. it would be a cool twist.
thatguy8620
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Loved it. Hope to see more from you.
crazysly
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Absolutely loved it. Can't wait on the sequel
PeterBE
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Enjoyed it quite a bit. Good writing, good storyline, etc. Would prefer to see a more verbose description of the changes. Two continuity errors were distracting: she takes her shoes off when they're already off, and her initial orgasm starts twice. Overall a nice work that deserves a sequel, perhaps involving the wife (and the ample room the farm provides her to grow).
Preg lovah
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
That was great stuff. Keep it up. I'd love to see more pregnancy or ass growth if you make another installment. The way you described his wife, I wouldn't be surprised if he got her pregnant with 10 kids, and that might explain why he does this for money too. Gotta raise the kids ya know?
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
