A man meets a girl running for her life from a bunch of tall athletic women. In a way he saves her from them and gets a very special reward.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 2.67
- BE: 2.33
- Characters: 2.00
- Technical: 2.17
eekee
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Damned hot! :D It's a bit shallow but it flows very well, with nothing to detract from the good stuff. An exciting little romp.
DarkPhoenix
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
I am going to agree with Yossarian needed to be longer and more descriptive. I would certainly read a more involved story
Supine Dragon
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Needs a proof read. "Your" is not "You're."
Tennek
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
couldn't read it, all it was was symbols and boxes
Numner
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
It's not a bad idea but the author needs more practice.
Yossarian
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Even for a quickie, not much atmosphere or development. If you want to write a short story, make it focused. Instead of trying to cram in every kind of change you can think of, describe one change well.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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