Re-uploaded as a .htm file for non-mac users.
A slim, gawky girl named Allie harbors a deep, powerful crush on her best friend... and when the moon grows full she learns there's more to her friend Jen than she thought. She-male transformations, massive belly/breast inflation, and lactation follow in this tale of lunar goddesses, evil priestesses and true love.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.22
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 3.94
- Technical: 3.94
Feotakahari
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
I've always been a fan of structure following content, and it's impressive to see an expansion story expand itself so neatly. Beginning as one girl's wish fulfillment and another's satisfaction of need, it seamlessly and easily transitions into a battle for the fate of the world. The flow's a little choppy on the micro level, and some of the sentence structures are a bit tin-eared, but you did an unusually good job on characterization--particularly towards the end, you could take many of the lines out of context and immediately know which character spoke them. Bravo!
Above Ground Pool Prices
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Acid
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
TjJones
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Well done! I really enjoyed it!
SMAP
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Fairly well-written story, although I felt it started to drag towards the end- but then, I'm not so much a fan of belly expansion, so the later sections had a lot less to offer me. Still, can't fault the technical portions of the writing for the most part and the pacing was actually rather well done all things considered.
I think the introduction to Jen an Allie was a bit abrupt at the beginning, but once things were sorted out I got into the story a lot better. Glad to see another good author contributing here, looking forward to your other works.
Dave
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This was excellent. I only rated the BE down because it's far more focused on belly expansion.... but it did hit a number of my fetishes all at once! Got a bit rushed during the Maxine arc, and the way it kinda came out of left field at first lowers my overall rating a smidge, but I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of it. I wish I could give it 9/10 rather than 4/5.
I would LOVE to see a 'realistic' illustration of the tattoo. It would make awesome wallpaper :D
PeterBE
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Harl
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Amazing story.
A coherent plot, a catchy storyline... congrats :)
Kiri
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I was actually able to open the original in Word without any problem, so I dunno. I do have an old version that's view-only, maybe MS didn't corrupt that with proprietary code or something..
But speaking of the story, it was... it was sure something =P. There was some fourth-wall-breaking things near the end, and it got just a little crazy too, but overall it was interesting and actually pretty hot, if a bit... obsessive. But that happens with fetish stories, I just would have liked some mention of other things during sex, like the actual stretching from a giant cock, some focus on breasts, expressions, even hair. Some non-instantaneous climaxes would have been nice, just that sort of thing =P
All in all, I liked it.
crash
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Not too shabby. Keep more like it coming - especially with belly/pregnancy, we don't get much of that. Thought they got a bit cliched after a bit but kept me going enough to comment, so kudos.
Zuki
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Breast growth, pregnancy, milk, and two young kids in a healthy and mutual relationship.
And it's *long!*
Yeah, just the kind of thing I really like!
SCOTESR
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I loved it I wish there was one of these per day.
Russian Judge
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Much better than reading in scrambled Mac text. The story is much better. Characters could have been more complete; much as we pervs might like it, people DO have lives outside of sex, and a little more of that would have made them more real. But despite those concerns, a very effective story.
cman
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Super fun read! Reminds me of Milkballoons' writing. Excellent stuff.
Sometimes it's hard to keep who is talking straight.
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Awesome man, craploads of juicy expansion. You made it long without making it boring. You even included a plot with a villain without ruining the fun.
Dude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Story really grabbed me. I liked the characters, the imaginative story, the multiple expansions, the fight against evil. Lots of good stuff in there.
Insert Joke Name Here
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Oh good, you uploaded for the 90 percent of computer users who don't use a Mac;)
elvis
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Well I guess it is a story.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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