Samantha spends her summer relaxing instead of practicing for her college track team. She gets a little out of shape, as in out of proportion, thanks in part to a drug from a friend. Not a terribly original story, but it's my first one.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.79
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 4.71
- Technical: 4.21
rotoplooker
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I loved this story. Maybe it could have had more description of her assets size, I sometimes wondered how big her rear had become.
Can't wait for part 2.
...
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
great, hope you do a second story for this
Exorban
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Liked this one bloody well, and as others have said, appreciated that she just 'softened up' a bit. Would very much like to see a Part 2 that focused more on her, hrm, slutty behavior since the growth, IMHO, should be slowed down as to not become waaaay to excessive.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Your story was fantastic. It's my new favorite, and I absolutely can't wait till you write the sequel.
Keep doing what you're doing!
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I was interested enough to go back to the story after a couple of days away. I just didn't like Sam loosing her scholarship. It was too predicatable. College student goes away to school, puts on some weight, then because of that she cant do track. It might have been more interesting if you made her blow away her competition at tryouts. IMHO
Sodapop
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I agree with Yosarrian. One of my new favorites! Maybe in the sequel work on slowing down the growth? This is like exactly what I was looking for.
raith1411
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
i liked this .id like to see what happens next :p
Bob
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Great read :-)One slight niggle is pacing, you may want to slow things down just a touch. That having been said can't wait ofr part two :D
blah
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Overall pretty good, except for one niggling annoyance:
"Fitness testing day had come, and at this point, Sam could care less."
It should be:
"Sam COULDN'T care less."
Daphne
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Great job getting your feet wet for your first story. Development was a little fast, if not hurried; descriptions on transformations could use some more fleshing out (no pun intended). Also may want to think about making your transitions a little smoother next time :)
Wanted to get the constructive criticism out of the way before I go into how much I enjoyed the characters. Left alot of spaces about personality and looks up to the reader and it made it more personable. Great job there. Loved the sizes you chose and the speed of progression. The pace was excellent. Looking forward to more. Keep it up! :)
jkd
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Really enjoyed the story. There were a few grammatical errors. Can't wait to read more.
Yossarian
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Nice to see fat growth that doesn't go overboard. Just a little softening up...
idontknowwhoiam
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great, cant wait to read more!
Wolf
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Good story, really enjoyed it. Could of done with more description of the process, but otherwise good
Looking forward to part II
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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