The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

New Friends
After one transformative day, plain-looking Christina finds herself belonging now to a group of beautiful, voluptuous women.
Average Scores:

N.E. Baudy
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

Couldn't develop any "feel" or empathy for the characters at all. It's like "Wish fulfilled, nothing to see, move along." Also, PDF made it hard to read on small screen.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

i like it, straight to the point, i like a girl growing in public or in school

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I like its a PDF file. You have excellent techn. skills. But the story isn't climactic enough for me. At the end, its like, huh, life goes on.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Not bad at all, I just wish that the two girls would have still kept their original personality.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

The transformations themselves are good, but I wish there had been better "rules" set up -- it seems that sometimes reality is altered and sometimes not, sometimes other people notice and sometimes they don't, and it's somewhat odd that we have two completely different triggers and two different lengths of time for transformations that end up with similar results. There also doesn't seem to be much to like about Jennifer as a generic "bitchy popular girl" stereotype, so I'm a bit sorry that you didn't either make her seem more sympathetic once Christina actually started having conversations with her, OR have Christina "come to her senses" and cast Jennifer aside once the transformed Beth shows up.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Such rapid, surprising changes—shouldn't the girl be surprised too? If she's more affected, we will be too.

The Light Fantastic
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

I thought it was great, with well-described transformations. Keep it up!

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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