redretrogamer@hotmail.com
My second story ever. A rich author allows a beautiful woman to stay as a maid, distracted by her huge buttocks. But over time, the girl begins to grow and when the writer finds out, does he really want it to stop or does he give into his sexual dreams? A breast and ass expansion story of epic sizes!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.57
- BE: 3.57
- Characters: 2.57
- Technical: 2.71
tyjala
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
good huge butts description
flies
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I really liked your story. grammar police need to calm down, that wasn't a noticeable problem for me. I agree that more dialogue might have been good.
Overall, a great romp.
Mr. Justaguy
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
A good second story. Congratulations, their getting better every time. This one was very enjoyable with lots of fun description of the BE. Characters could use just a bit more fleshing out (excuse the pun) as we learn most of what we know about either of them through naration, while a little more focus on dialogue would be nice. Nonetheless the only reason I keep coming back to critique is because I think you have a boatload of potential. Keep them coming please!
Gopherspace
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
As was mentioned, grammar and spelling could use some work. Aside form that, descriptions were lackadaisical at best and nonexistent at times, the characters were underdeveloped, and the story seemed far too fast paced.
But, at the same time, it was lots of ridiculously large BE and AG fun, which we don't see enough of these days :)
deux_anges
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 1
A very promissing premise and has butt expansion as well as BE, which I like. However, sorely let down by a huge number of typographical errors and lack of clarity. Also, the characters seem rather shallow and are not well developed in the story.
OmniTrixie
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Beyond the mentioned spelling & grammar problems plus some logistical nightmares (Reaching both nipples at that size? What's his wingspan?), I'm pretty sure this is the first BE story to end with a planned double suicide.
Al Gore
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Needs some serious spelling and grammar checking, but otherwise a good story.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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