Short. Sweet. Full of action. And to the -point-. Guy breaks up with a very special lady, guy finds out lady was really special all along, but before he can even feel remorse, guy is treated to the night of his life.. smoke 'em if you got 'em. ++Please leave comments if you enjoy it. I'd appreciate it. Thanks.++
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.63
- BE: 4.50
- Characters: 3.75
- Technical: 4.38
Kam
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
a little more build up woulda been nice, but a solid story all in all, well done
Oxriff
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
very nicely done, short and sweet.
Dragon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
one of the best stories on this site in some time I would love to read some more of your work! Keep it up please.
dfens44
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Demands a sequel, or a longer rewrite. Very well done.
G-man001
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Just what this site needed - a good quick BE GTS story with some sex. Hit the spot. Now maybe an explanation of her powers? Either way just keep up the good work.
avburns
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I would've liked to have learned why the characters broke up. And the source of her BE'ing ability. But for a quickie I think you did a good job.
Beetlebomb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
You did it again, Man! Great story!
Good to see you're still writing! I should post some of my new work on here as well. Talk to me on The Process forums or somethin'.
You truly do know how to hit the spot!
--Beetle
PaulG
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Fun! I didn't notice any glaring errors in the writing either. Short as it is, there's not much you can do with the character development, of course, but they're not off-putting in any way, so I'll go for "average" rating there. Now I'm not sure if the scale mechanics would work out, but that's just a little nitpicking on my part. :)
Well done!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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