Yrba the witch has set up camp in the forest while she tries to teach her Amazonian protege Mirca how to keep the potion-fuelled fits of sudden breast expansion under control. Red the bawd coaxes her reluctant gypsy friend into a little body modeling that might not go unnoticed. The first snow drives the camping couple back to Red’s brothel. And then a simple contraband run goes wrong, dead wrong... -- HTML, 18,800 words, 105 kChars. Zip contains previous parts. Well, y’all know my standard plea by now: Please comment ;)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.67
- BE: 4.83
- Characters: 4.67
- Technical: 4.50
MadMacs2010
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Wow! oh Wow, just finished reading this episode, you write so well, a true master of the pen! if this were ever published into "normal style" literature, I'd buy it! the final scene - wonderfully crafted, nearly brought a tear! going to have to start reading the next chapter straight away. keep going my friend
Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Yet again, you've crafted another gem of a story. I'm glad that you put some tragedy in here, too. I really can't wait to see some guy-on-girl action, though.
Avg Joe
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Nice well developed characters, good dialogue. Excellent sentence structure and grammer. A very realistic feeling world. Keep up the good work!
K-POGO
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
really enjoyed the descriptions of Mirca's training with both Yrba and Li. Shed a tear for Berry. I hope the bastards that set her and Mirca up get what's coming to them. Great stories, keep up the great work.
razaksroughnecks
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
I really enjoyed the chapter "A Paying Customer". Well written with a nice variety of adjectives.
matt
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I kind of got lost around Chapter 3, but I am looking forward to reading chapter 5. Overall, I really enjoyed the flow of the story up until she left the kingdom.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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