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I think there are few enough new stories that clicking once to see the ratings isn't that great of a burden.
And the problem with denying a file after it's been zipped due to it's format, is that many authors aren't tech savvy. They'll just shrug and not bother to change it.
What's a WPS? FAIL!
Couldn't open. Fail.
It seemed more like cliff notes rather than a story. The ideas were there; just could have been executed better.
Non-starter. Enforce file-type restrictions already. HTML, PDF, txt, RTF and doc at a push
Is there a way to give a story zeroes?
Could someone pass this on to the admin? What I'd really like to see is the 'Overall Average Score' on the ten best page, maybe under the title. Just thought it would be easier for us to find out what bad stories _not_ to download without having to go thru the clicks to get here.
This story lacks structure and character.
There are no paragraph delineations, with two exceptions. The characters and their roles make little sense.
Not able to download
Is the goal to see how close to an average of 1 we can get without actually reaching it?
I loved the imagery of your malapropisms--such concepts as "shinny" stones, a comet found in the "dessert", the man who "stud" there, breasts that were "each" the size (and shape?) of two basketballs, the goddess who "implies" herself onto her man's cock, the mini-skirt that shows plenty of "cleaverage" (a Goth outfit?), breasts the same size as a "mam" (how could they be any different?), the 2000-bus garage, the "stunning" 44MM breasts (imagine being stunned by those!),
couldn't read it because the computer I am on doesn't support wps extention
Just plain bad. The saddest part is you obviously don't know how bad, or you would not have posted it. At the very least, run a spell check some time.
Not even worth my time to finish it.
I think your bad story gave me cancer.
Awful, awful, awful.
You didn't even care enough to press the spell check button. If it's not worth your time to do that, it's definitely not worth anyone else's time to read it.
.... I'm not usually one to give harsh reviews, but this drove me to it.
From a formatting standpoint: Either use plain ol' Notepad/Wordpad, or HTML. Works format is unreadable by everything but Works and some MS Office converter programs.
From a technical (writing) standpoint: All of Pete's criticisms stand. As others commented, some character development would be nice. Some characters at all would be nice. If you're going to write more than a quick scene, take the time to do it right. Sure, it's fetish, but treat your story with a modicum of respect, please. If you feel the urge to submit a fever dream you had, go ahead and blast it forth onto your word processor. But then, either take a few minutes to actually turn it into a readable story before posting, or delete it.
I'm more than a little sick and tired of seeing a story with an interesting title, concept, and/or character turn into unreadable trash because the so-called wanna-be author couldn't take the time to learn how to write, learn the language they -choose- to write in, or even take the time to think about what they've written before hitting that 'submit story' button.
If I want a wank-fest, I'll read something wank-oriented and still readable, like the Wank Magazine series. Personally, if it doesn't stand as at least mediocre writing when I ignore the fetish nature, it's not good fetish material either.
Awful. Just... awful
The story was awful, but I gave a 5 on enjoyment because of how the formatting came out through notepad. At one point it just comes out Emily Emily Emily Emily Derk Derk Derk Derk. I laughed pretty damn hard at how manic that sounded.
Bad spelling, grammer and punctuation- You did it for a laugh didn't you? :) Many things done right, so I think you deliberately made the mistakes. If not, then it really is atrocious. Why bother? Pete gave the constuctive criticism, so I'll support his views.
Please, please, please proofread. Ask someone else to proofread. The grammar here was abysmal. Run on sentences, spelling errors, and incorrect homophones all made this barely readable.
I understand this is a fetish site, and there is a sexual nature to the stories here, but at the same time they need to be stories. This felt like a beer-induced dream in a way. There were lots of garbled ideas pieced together seemingly randomly, and any reason for having them all together in the same story was tenuous at best.
The entire piece felt entirely too short for the number of things going on. Each idea should be developed separately, with some amount of narrative flow.
Your characters were just names and physical attributes. There was no reason to like them or care about them in any way. About a third of the way through, I actually lost track of who the principle should be. Characters in a story need personalities, preferably slightly different personalities. Here, everyone was in complete agreement to every suggestion. It would have been more believable if someone had been surprised, or dismissive, or somehow not just along for the ride.
There was, at a minimum, BE in this story. Descriptions were lacking, mainly consisting of "they grew until they were (insert large size here)." Couple of suggestions: first, give a starting point. It's very different for a girl to go from D to DD than from AA to DD. Second, other references besides just a bra size go a long way. They are tired, and more than a little bit cliche, but sports equipment and fruit do give an immediate visual.
This story was difficult to read, and simply not rewarding in any way.
I use WordPerfect but this isn't wordperfect, it is MS Works.
Nobody uses WordPerfect in the 21st century, dude.
A good attempt for your first story, but was lacking any sort of plot-building whatsoever. It needs work, and I think was submitted before you even spell-checked it. None-the-less, nice to see new work, and I did get a feel for your writing style.