The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Neb the Destroyer
Not a Fun Day at the Beach
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

Hahahaha. I'm not too brghit today. Great post!

very free
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

Strange, bumfuzzling story. Like, why did it start at the beach? Not that i give a flying fuck.. Maybe smokin' too much.

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

I can find little to say in favor of this story other than it's sheer originality and willingness to experiment. I like the style with which you disembody some of the characters, but at times your technique simply fails, because on those occasions you seem to be narrating from the personal third person and then from a 'fourth' person--in fourth person, I have no idea which character receives priority, and that's a problem (not a desirable ambiguity).

Some of the breast growth stages feature a dearth of "benchmarks." For us folks that are interested in the "process" of boobs growing, we want to have a fairly good idea how big a person is before, during, and after growth. At the first growth stage in your story, I was taken aback by how suddenly our character had basketballs--that was way too sudden! More descriptions, more often, and use a variety of comparison mechanisms.

Finally, get rid of the bracketed text additions. They are irritating and out of place. It breaks the flow of the story, ruins your narrative fidelity (sort of breaks the fourth wall inexplicably), and makes me feel like I'm reading de Sade and someone else is annotating in an unnecessary manner. Please don't do it--place the whole script outside of brackets and don't question your own writing.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

Comic Sans is an affront to humanity. Please, for all that is unholy and everything that brings us beautiful dreams of bountiful bouncing breasts, NEVER use it again!

Nice story though otherwise. Disturbing, but fascinating!

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Wow indeed.... Very unique and I loved it! I also got a little confused as well, but a great story nonetheless!

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 4

This is not plesent.

Munch Wolf
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

This story disturbed me in ways I did not know I could be disturbed.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Really nice and unique story. fun to read, though it Did get confusing pretty early on as well as through out which Amy was the point of view.

Very nice descriptions, and the grammar was very tight with the exception of 1 or 2 small errors.

the ultimate crux of any short story, is that there is never really any character description, but all in all one of the better short stories I've read in a while. Keep up the good work

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

This is the most creative story I've read in at least a year. I can't say I was entirely turned on by it, but the surreality of it all was pretty awesome.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

wooooow *.*

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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