Original Story by Max
"Clare never imagined the benefits she could get by working at a bra store"
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I adjusted most sentences from the original, to correct grammar and make it flow better. I also invented a name for the teacher and added a couple of paragraphs to give the story a little more depth.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 3.88
- Technical: 4.00
Eddie
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very good. More detail on the measurements inches, cups, etc. both up and down would be delightful. After all, we are size nuts!
sid
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Bravo! Only suggestion I could make is to maybe have the BE done over a span of a few days rather than one. Maybe have clare change clothes more often due to size increase? The dress scene was hot! Keep it up!
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Really liked it! Its a new twist, yet believable.
Toymaker
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I liked the original, and this felt a lot like that, so good job on not moving away from the "original vision."
It's been awhile since I'd read the first iteration of this story, so I'm not sure where the backstory came in (unless it was the part where the teacher explains the magic of the tape, which actually seemed a little weak,) but on the whole it was good. I"m still not buying the lesbian scene, but the rest of it is A-ok.
harl
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
some minor blunders, but still a great story
Guy Incognito
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
guest
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
a great update to the story
Wild Card
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Liked the Original story and the touch up job made it slightly better reading.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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