Take 2, because I'm an idiot and can't use Winzip...
Frankly I think that's ablseutoly good stuff.
Loved the story very original....wish the autor would do more with this idea
Interesting plot. Not enough BE tho, sorry.
Really enjoyed the story, like everyone else has said it was a great start up. The BE was lacking, but just so happened I enjoy this kind of transformations especially cowgirls, would love to see more of the udder growth, lactation, breast growth, ass growth ECT. And a longer story in general would be nice, get these girls going back to their college or something, but I wouldn't personally want it to become a wide spread mutation again, take way from the uniqueness of the great characters you have already set up
i don't know anything about grammer so that has to be a 3 :)
You really need to do a bit more to define and separate the characters of Sara and Candace. Right now you've got the whiny one, Maggie, and two reasonable ones. There's a bit of a hint that Sara is a bit more sexual, but other than their bodies, there's not much difference between the cow and the horse.
What a great story; reminds me of Tim the Enchanter but obviously with a different twist. The way the story is setup you can do anything now from sequels to prequels, and the characters were really well written to begin with.
It's a shame though, because as already stated, the BE and AG, etc, were overshadowed. Not that I don't mind the transformations, but a little bit more for the breast/ass growth would have been great.
I agree that this is very much the exposition to a larger plot. You created a lot of different characters, each with detailed traits, then the process was over in a couple paragraphs. The transformations were nice but really overshadowed the BE, of which there was just a few sentences. The groundwork is laid for so much more, so go for it.
The writing is a little choppy, but that will go away with time. Also, any reason in particular why you chose the University of Chicago? It was very appropriate, I'm just curious as I'm studying there now, and working as a research assistant in a Biology lab.
very nice - graphic to the point where you can almost see what was going on (well, those of us with good imaginations!) I did find 2 small errors though - one is a spelling error (near the end in one of Sara's quotes) the other (not to spoil the story for others) you have 2 endings for Maggie, 1 for Sara and none for Candice. (Though I know the last one was probably Candice's...)
otherwise, very enjoyable :)
Not bad.. i hope there will be more.. since all that was in it was mostly developing characters.