The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Not a normal evening.
Two room mates; Cheryl and Sarah experience the amazing effects of Perfection Pills... they also experience some unexpected side-effects.

My first one! I hope you enjoy.
Average Scores:

Over Swept
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

I do occasionally like a fast story like this, but there was so much more potential I think. Could of spent more time on the expansion parts. I think it could of been a little longer though.

very Free
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

I agree with helium girl except on point 4. I found a few minor errors but the bad part is that it was uploaded in Microsloth Word. There are many users (Mac to name one) that can't read Word. And it's better for the author to use .PDF which allows the author to retain some control over the format. Download PDFcreator and install it (it's another printer), and you'll be able to save your story as a .PDF.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

A few paragraphs do not a story make.

some one who read this story
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3

Try not to rush things. This was more of a flash. It wasn't really a story. Technically the writing is more or less fine, but remember that part of what keeps us interested is lingering enough on the sexy part. This reads more as a summary of what happened. Where are the details?

Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

I enjoyed the story very much, but I agreee with my co-critics: Your pace is way to fast and the description is lacking, to say the least. Still the idea is right up my alley ;)
Focus more on the description and flesh the whole story out a bit and you'll become a very promising author.

Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 3's ok, but its too short and lacking in be descriptions
and its was fastly paced

Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Personally I thought it was a great way to hit a bunch of things, preg, leg growth, ass growth, gts, etc. But you do need to slow down. Describe the change not just what it looks like when its done. HOw do the girls feel during it, etc. But I liked the story and hope you post more and longer!

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

This is not a BAD story at all; it just doesn't have anything to recommend it. If it had been bad, I would have marked it worse than 3.

1. Overall, the story was too short, too fast-paced. It's written like a stroke story -- nothing more than something to stare at while you get your jollies.

2. There's not a whole lot of description of the BE except to say that it happened. Another aspect of the short length.

3. No real definition to the characters, they're just ciphers. In a longer story they could have been more... fleshed out.

4. The grammar and spelling are error-free, but does not merit a 4 or 5 because there's a lot of inconsistency in the formatting.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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