The end of this story arch. Freshly emerged from the forced march down the Memory Lane of senior year, Ryan comes to terms with events of past and present, and attempts to make a better future. He never would have guessed at the groups responsible for his powers or the size of the growth they would instigate in the girls swept along for the ride. The author does apologize for the length of the piece, though.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.67
- Characters: 4.67
- Technical: 4.33
MadMacs2010
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I loved this story, particulary the whole evolution of the romance between the two mains. I would have loved things to continue, but I got the impression from the last story that the author felt if he didn't wrap this up s/he'd never get on to other things. shame, I could have read a whole book of this, it was so well written, as others have said a few proof reading errors, but nothing to warrant a downgrade of the points, well done.
JJ
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Overall this was a very enjoyable and solid story and would love to see if you flesh out the world some more. Technically though, there were a little more minor mistakes than I'd have liked. For instance, typo'd words that, though the spellchecker may have caught it, it turned your typoed word into something completely different. Not a big deal, just breaks the flow. Speaking of breaking the flow, though obviously intended to have the strong accent, Willie's dialog is hard to understand at times and had me having to stop and reread to try and figure out just exactly what he was saying. Another problem was Kristen's name changed to Kelly in the middle of the second room portion and eventually flipped back.
I'm not going to go through and critique every point of the story because really, aside from some points that can easily be cleaned up, this is one of the more enjoyable reads I've had in a while on this site.
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Holy shit man! I've read some awesome stories but this is one of the best. I was praying for Kristen to be in that 2nd room and you did not disappoint me. The main plot was great and well explained as well.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
